Hello,

My name is Darlene. I am the wife of a sweet, good lookin' man named Curtis. Together we are raising four children. God has blessed us with two boys and two girls; Memphis, Isaiah, Elijah and Lily are the joy of our lives. We love God and we love our family.

Now, Curtis is probably among the most hard working men I have ever known...really. He is my hero! Curtis and I got married when we were both 17 years old, and he has never been immature or lazy a single day of our marriage. He has always worked very hard, and always comes home each evening to continue working hard at being a wonderful husband and father. I love him to pieces!

I am a stay at home mom who had BIG dreams when I had first decided to become a homemaker...

I thought I would bake fresh breads and cookies that would melt my husband's heart. I dreamed of educating our eager-to-learn little geniuses at our dining room table, while holding back the tears as I saw the "Ah Ha" looks come like waves over their little faces as they began to understand the concepts that I (yes, I, Darlene) had just taught them! I envisioned growing a bountiful garden, with my children by my side, so eager to help me plant and gather the fresh produce that we had toiled over. I could just see Curtis coming home at the end of each hard worked day looking around at our well organized home, smelling the sweet aroma of his four-course meal and being soooo proud that he had a help meet like me. I figured I'd look like Catherine Zeta Jones from all the working out I was going to do. I was NOT going to let myself go! I would host dinner parties and play dates. I would volunteer to teach at my church, and, heck, who knows I might even volunteer at the crisis center here in town. But that would only be if I had enough time in between the children's music lessons and home school co-ops. I would have honey on my lips at all times, because the kids needed to know how special they were and I wanted my man to know he was appreciated...you know what I'm sayin'?!?

I was gonna be extraordinary and you were gonna wish you could be me, but you couldn't, cause I was gonna be me!

Now, to reality:

Would you believe that the bread I bake, my kids refuse to eat and my husband thinks is a waste of time? He would prefer I buy a loaf at Food Lion. My kids won't sit still for five minutes, so that I can teach them to tie their shoes. They all hate gardening, my house is a wreck, and I am blogging. I am fifty pounds overweight, and my poor Curtis is lucky to get a can of beanie weenies for dinner! I just got tired of trying. I tried once and failed. I got my feelings hurt, and now I'm afraid that I have become a discouraged housewife. Things are not working out according to my plans and I don't know why...I mean, they were great plans. Wouldn't you agree? I started taking anti-depressants for a while, just to see if they possessed some magical power that would give me the life I was supposed to have. They didn't, and I just got numb, which eventually led to me making "peace" with all of the chaos and disappointment.


Alas, I prayed to the God I had always thought I believed in, and I asked for His help. I am now seeing how I allowed myself to get so caught up in who I thought I was supposed to be, that I forgot about allowing God's Holy Spirit to live through me. God created me with a purpose in mind and I don't want to waste another moment of the life I've been given. I am still a homemaker - a wife that wants to be the woman my husband deserves, and a mother who knows that she is accountable to Almighty God for the shaping of these four human beings He has entrusted to me. As cheesy as this sounds, this is my journey. I am learning how to depend on God, so that I can become a good steward of all He has blessed me with. It's time to get of the couch and put on my big girl pants. I am a daughter of King Jesus! And, on that note...I've got some "cleaning" to do!